Unfortunately men only get three days of paternity leave, so I wasn’t able to spend nearly as long as I wanted to bonding with Sky.
I went back to work on Monday. Today is only Wednesday and it already feels like the longest working week ever. I just long to be home with her, talking to her, cuddling her, reading her stories, singing silly songs.
I’m determined the time I do have with her will be quality time. Today before going to work I made her a bottle and read her Dr Seuss’s If I Ran the Zoo, full of all it’s nonsense rhymes and made-up creatures. She really seemed to enjoy it – regardless of whether it made any sense to her.
I know it’s important for me to be at work, so we can earn the money for all the nappies, bottles and other necessities, and to start saving for her future school fees.
But I still wish I could spend everyday with her. Oh well, we’re halfway through the week. Weekend’s almost here.
I think that’s the question I’ve been asked the most the last week. And yes, it does. Sky is everything I wanted, prayed and hoped for. She’s amazing. How many mothers can say that their child has not given them one sleepless night? As I’m sitting here, she’s sleeping on the floor. So peaceful. I’m growing more in love with her every day. And the feeling is mutual. She just wants her mommy (and yes the daddy as well – before I get into trouble 😉
We are so blessed to have her and so many supportive friends. She met daddy’s parents on Wednesday. Granddad has Alzheimer’s and we did not know how he will respond to her. But it was the most amazing thing. As we brought her into the room, he just gave her a look, grabbed his head and started crying. He kept on saying: “She’s so perfect, she’s so beautiful”. We had to comfort him. He wants to see her the whole time. We put her on the floor or in her carrier and the two of them will conduct. It’s so special. We really have to fight the tears every time we see it.
Sky has been home for four days and already we can see major advances. From having not had much stimulation at the safe house, her neck was very lazy and she couldn’t hold her head up very well. Her leg muscles were also very weak.
But we’ve spent a lot of time doing exercises with her and we’ve seen a big improvement on both fronts.
We’ve bonded very well and really feel like a family.
The only really problem is that her tummy isn’t going – only one dirty nappy since Tuesday and she is obviously in discomfort. But we’re trying various remedies and hopefully her tummy will be as happy soon.
Today we’ll be having her baby shower with a group of our friends, so she has a very exciting day ahead. We’ll let you know how it goes.
We finally took Sky home today. We started the day with a trip to the law courts where we had her officially transferred to our care, although we aren’t able to adopt her until the 20th of February, when the biological dad’s time to come forward expires. Once the formalities were over we headed over to the safe house to pick her up.
We spoke to her carer to find out all the details we could about her eating, sleeping habits etc, and then we were allowed to take her home.
As we were leaving the safe house, one of my best friends and his fiance happened to walk past outside (he swears he wasn’t stalking us!) so they got the sneak peak before everyone else.
Once we got home we bonded with her immediately. Trixi’s changed her nappy, bathed her, fed her. I’ve danced with her, read bedtime stories to her. It’s been a wonderful day.
We will upload photos of her as soon as we are allowed to, but at the moment we aren’t allowed to let anyone see her face until the day we officially adopt her.
Thank you everybody for all your supports, messages and prayers.
Today is the day we’ve been praying for. Today Sky comes home. We have to go to court for the formalities and then we get to pick her up from the safe house. I’ve never been this excited. Thank you everyone who has been following our journey, sharing our excitement and praying with us. We’ll put up photos as soon as we are allowed to.
I think I will need to say that another 1000000000 times before it’s real. But yes!!! We met our gorgeous beautiful bubbly daughter. Yes she’s not even 2 months old, but she smiled at us and only had eyes for her mommy. She is so calm and fell asleep in my arms. We can’t wait to bring her home tomorrow. Pretty sure we won’t be able to sleep tonight.
As soon as I saw her, I knew she belongs to us. It just felt RIGHT although it felt unreal. It still feels like my heart is beating outside my body. My heart feels ‘bigger’. Don’t try to make sense of it, I don’t.
I’m really overwhelmed. Don’t know if I want to laugh or cry. All I know is that we are beyond blessed.
Thank you for every Facebook message, BBM, whatsapp, sms and email. We appreciate each and every one of you.
Tomorrow we bring home our baby 🙂
This morning when I switched on VH1 classic, the first song I heard was Neneh Cherry and Yossou N’Dour’s Seven Seconds, a classic song which contains the lyrics: “When a child is born into this world, he has no concept of the tone of skin he’s living in.”
This song to me encapsulates our journey. Often when we speak to people and tell them we’re adopting they say things like “did you at least manage to get a white child?”
No, Sky isn’t white, but why should that matter. She’s less than three months old, what does it matter what skin colour she is – she’s our baby and we are going to love her and she’s going to love us.
Here are some other songs with similar messages:
Michael Jackson’s Black or White – “I’m not gonna spend my life being a colour”
Jimmy Nail and Ranking Roger, Black and White – A child is black, a child is white, the world looks upon the beautiful sight.
Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder, Ebony and Ivory live together in perfect harmony side by side on my piano, keyboard, oh Lord why don’t we?
And the gospel song Jesus loves the Little Children. – Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in his sight.