Talk about it

I’ve been chatting to a few people the last few weeks. They have lots of questions about adoption and what it meant to us. And all of them can’t thank me enough for talking to them and all of them say the same thing – thank you for talking to us, most people don’t want to talk about it…


This puzzles me. Why not? Why won’t you share with people the joy that you have experienced. Yes it’s a hard road and frustrations set in. But if you have somebody that you can go to and talk to about it, it already helps. Do we still consider adoption an ‘taboo’ subject? Something that should not be spoken about? It’s a very strange concept to me. It’s not like we can hide the fact that we adopted Sky. And having people sharing in our joy just makes our joy so much more. Having people coming up to us in public and just wanting to get a laugh out of her or just ask us some questions is normal to us by now. We just accepted it as part of our lives. We don’t mind people asking questions, in fact we encourage it. The more people we can help get  a more positive attitude about adoption and specially transracial adoption, the better. People fear the unknown and if everybody that adopted just refuses to talk about their journey, it just alienates more people. So to all the parents out there that has adopted – share your story. It’s important! It might help somebody decide to also adopt and change a child’s life forever.

And those considering adoption – ask questions. As much as you need. Adopting is not buying a puppy – you can’t give the baby back if things gets to much for you. And yes, sometimes it does gets to much for you. You have to take the joy of everyday little things with the heartache of hearing somebody calling your baby a ‘boesman’ or the ‘k’ word or people just staring at you in public and accept the fact that most people will do a ‘double take’ when you walk past them. These are things that you have to be aware of and know that no amount of staring or hearing negative things against your child can take away the love, support and absolute joy you will experience. Because you have to deal with all of these things on top of normal parent problems like chickenpox, teething, moody baby, sleepless nights and the crawling stage where nothing is safe anymore.  So talk, share, ask…


3 thoughts on “Talk about it

  1. I don’t understand the hush hush nature of adoption either, especially for the adoptive parents. Thank God for those of you who are willing to talk about your experience.

  2. Not only talk about it, just do it – as you did. We did it already 13 years ago (our son, Liam, was adopted in May 2000 in Johannesburg) and this was the best decision of our life. Best regards,
    Susanne from Germany

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