Dear White People

I’m going to try and explain how I feel, best I can. Today I am angry, sad, upset – but mostly angry. And I’m trying to not let my anger get the better of me. So I am writing you a letter to maybe, just maybe make you understand why it’s not okay to call a black person a monkey – or any other race any other name.

Put yourself in my shoes for one minute. I’m sitting here with my beautiful child playing around my feet. She is loving, intelligent and compassionate. She and her (white) sister is the lights of our lives. The two are the reason I get up in the morning and the reason I don’t go to bed at night.

Okay, so here you sit, with your innocent child playing around your feet. All of a sudden somebody comes up to you and tells you that your brainless idiot child’s skin (and those of her friends – I quote Penny Sparrow: black on black skin, what a shame) is a pain to her. But it’s okay, at least she is a cute little brainless idiot – we all know that is what she meant by the word monkey. Putting a nice spin on it, does not make it okay. And don’t tell me not to take it personally, I quote her again:” from now on I shall address the blacks of SA as monkeys.” That includes my child. And sure as hell, if you mess with my child you mess with me. Don’t tell me to not take it personally, Don’t tell any other person of color in this country not to take it personally. She personally attacked each and every person of color in this country.

Most white people in this country have NO idea what it is to live ‘on the other side’ of the color barrier. You don’t have to worry that your loving child might want to hug another child, because you never know if their white parents might freak because your little ‘monkey’ touched their child. You don’t know what it is to walk in a mall and hear somebody call your child a kaffir or a pittekop. You don’t know what it is like to have to be nervous around other white people because you never know what comes out of their mouths because they believe they have the ‘right’ to just say the first thing that comes to mind. To be told in your face that it’s your and people like you, who is at fault for the state of the country because you treat ‘those barbarians like people’. They should have stayed in the bush where they belonged.

This is not somethings I am thinking ‘might happen’, these things and lot more happened in the last 2 years. My child has been called a black beauty (and not in a positive way), all of the above mentioned names, ‘that thing’ etc. She has NEVER harmed anybody in her life. Her only ‘fault’ is that her skin is black. She has no idea of all of these things happening around her and it’s my job to keep it like that. So don’t tell me to ‘chill’ about it. If it was your child, would you?


21 thoughts on “Dear White People

  1. My advice? Chill. When the seed of adoption was planted, you knew this would happen. Don’t allow others to upset you. Learn to ignore. It won’t stop. My six year old realized last week that her colour is different from ours. Keep on telling your child that she is your chocolate child, much nicer than banana (white) children.

    • Funny how it’s ok to liable a whole race for one woman’s rant on twitter about how disgusting it was to watch 3 million people depend on a beach that normality would suggest full at 100 000. Now it is your right to liable a whole race, sis on you you are just as bad as Jenny Sparrow.

  2. Where do you live that people are so racist? In four years we have had nothing but welcoming smiles and love for our chocolate child. There has never been a bad word said. Never a cruel comment. Only curiosity and love. Small minds that put negative spin on racism are loosing out on the melting pot of culture that makes our country richer. And they wake up with their issues. We wake up surrounded by the love we know, possible irrespective of skin colour.

    • If you read my post correctly you will see I was talking to my white friends that told me to chill. Obviously not all white people feel that way, seeing that I’m white

  3. Absolutely. I personally felt offended by the “Dear White People” post, “Some White People” might have been more accurate. I am 26 years old and have never even been part of Apartheid and all that goes with it, am completely over being put in a group and labelled as a racist. How is that different to the racism you are complaining about?

  4. Not all white people is like that. But although there is some major racism going on in the EFF and the ANC. Rappers are singing about killing us and yet there is good people among them that im appalled by all this racism going on. Unfortunately we will never move forward at his rate.

  5. I think if you look at life realistically- very broad and person specific based on our perspectives , the world around us if full of judgement . Speaking from experience , our children has many many issues that they will have to deal with . My kids for example have been excluded due to the fact that I’m divorced , I simply do not get the nod to go to social gatherings, it has taken 5 years for some moms to now come and talk to me on the “side” about their unhappiness in their marriage. My point – you have followed your heart , and as many of us that follow our heart in many different avenues in our beautiful but controversial land soon find out,culture and rigidity in pockets of our society does not mimic the whole. Find your people , your support structure , turn away from negativity , anger will leave us bitter and cloud the good that we embark on. Give Sky the tools to cope with rejection , shame and unfounded anger towards her. Teach her to see past actions of narrow minded people , you have a great task ahead of you . Know that woman and men (all colors and races)all over South Africa are doing our bit ( I’m passionately involved with changing mindsets) we can set the new president. All the best with your journey.We are learning things alongside our kids.What a trip 🙂

  6. I think the fact that “Dear White people” has caused such a stir indicates that it WAS the right heading. I read the story because of the heading. I can feel the anger and frustration and I can identify with it. I never took it personally. We need to understand that awareness is the key to lots of problems. Have an awesome day peeps.


  8. Whatever the headline, the content is endemic to the core! The photo of an overcrowded beach in Durban showed us again the inherent, stubborn racist blood rushing through those commenting their bitter vile true feelingd about seeing blacks on a beach. One even went so far on toeter fb as to wondering why more of them didn’t drown! The more we call them out maybe just maybe the tide will turn to acceptance if ALL races.

  9. I agree with Dale… Why was this directed at white people? do you think other races are incapable of being racist? isn’t that then in itself racist?? i’m sick to death of seeing all these “dear white people” letters regarding this sparrow cow!!! I AM NOT JENNY SPARROW!!!! I DO NOT KNOW HER!!! SHE DOES NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO SPEAK ON MY BEHALF!!! and i absolutely despise being tarred with her brush simply because i am white. If i had to write a dear blacks or dear coloreds letter there would be hell!!! WE ARE ALL HUMAN, WE ARE ALL INDIVIDUALS….. lets stop dividing people and then uniting them when it suits us. GAH!!!!! GTH SPARROW!!!

  10. I’m black and I love this post. Not all white people are racist -we can all agree on that. ERNA and CINDY I love your responses. This country is the responsibility of all that inhabit it. I’ve had racist comments directed at me. I’ve had people tell me how surprised they are that I am intelligent or able to hold all to conversation in English… It used to kill my spirit but not any more. It’s our job through posts like these to enlighten. The colour of your skin does not make you superior or smarter. It’s our job to transform this nation to what we want it to be…

  11. In all this insulting confusion do not forget where we all come from. God created us all irrespective of colour so insulting someone is insulting God’s creation and I would not like to be insulting God. Jesus taught us to love and gave us peace so that is how I would treat my fellow humans. Be a christian and practice what Jesus told us to dom

  12. We do not have a say as to what colour we are born. It should be with pride that Black, White, Indian or Coloured folk walk with their heads held high and are proud of their culture, heritage, religion and what they hold in their hearts rather than us becoming a nation of condemnation towards one another. I might just add that we too adopted children and one day the one came running home from school in tears and broken-hearted as his teacher told him his biological parents did not love him and ran away from him because he was too naughty and an ugly child…….this by the way was white on white. Of course one has to think on one’s feet very quickly and he was told that he was so special because he was CHOSEN by us. Good luck with your baby girl Sky. Bless you.

  13. I fully understand how you feel, but it is not all white people that are like that.
    My child is 14 years old and I raise him to have respect for all other people. When we still had a domestic worker he called her aunt, which offended older family members – so much that I had to warn those who still struggle to adapt not to call people of other races names in front of my child. If ever it happened, I had to explain to him why it is wrong. My child has teachers of other races and I can not allow him to go to school with that ridiculous “name calling” in his head. What kind of respect will he have? What discipline will they have over him?

    So, don’t make the same mistake as that silly woman to judge all people the same.
    I am proud of my free born child and hope and trust that the fact that he is white will not stand in his way of living his dream to become educated and find a good job in his home country one day.
    We are South Africans … and that is it.

  14. All the years I was a child, growing up among the Indians in Durban, they called me “White Cockroach”. These days, my President tells me publicly, that Africa was just fine, “until the white people came”. And he dances around on stage, singing “Bring me my machine-gun” to roars of approval from my black countrymen. Julius Malema, boss of the EFF, and a Member of Parliament, says publicly, he and his supporters “are going to kill me” – because I’m white. I have blatant, ‘hate-speech’ emails, from a black senior manager at the SABC, whom I had asked for support for my wanting to train jobless black people, in how to become entrepreneurs – and rise above poverty. Strange, though, isn’t it? … that it’s only whites, who are “racists”? (PS. – I’m also a ‘white struggle-veteran’).

    • Agreed,It should be directed at all the racists,all the colours that are racists in the country,because racism has no boundaries and doesnt apply to just white people,i know ,indians,colourds that are racist,is this another dig at the whites this branding,that we are all racists?Their are so many people of all races trying so damn hard to bring change for a better happier SA to live in,negative racist rant is a freedom for fools with anger issues,make a change ,treat all the people around you with respect no matter who they are or their colour

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