I’m back and even more determined to have healthier children. Our little one is 3 weeks old today and she is just adorable! BUT – she is allergic to milk. Because she was prem and is just soooo small she just could not breastfeed. I was very upset about the fact that we just could not get food into her and I made a decision to put her on formula. I was crying so much the poor nurses had to calm me down! I wanted to do what is best for her but at that stage getting food into her was my main goal. She dropped a lot of weight and she was just not getting anywhere with breast. In any case – we put her on formula and that started 2 weeks of chaos. Nothing worked. She kept on screaming every time she had milk in her. The pediatrician suggested a few things and we ended up going with soya as the milk just did not work with her. She’s still cramping a LOT but it’s much better and I know we have to just let it work through her system.

With all of that going on Sky’s allergies got so out of control that she had a seizure and stopped breathing in my arms. I’ve never been so scared in my life! Luckily hubby was home and we got her to ER in a few minutes. But almost week later I still see her lifeless eyes looking up at me and her breathing just stopping. It seems the allergies gave her airway infection that we just did not pick up.Her fever spiked to over 40 without warning.

So yes here I am with two amazing girls that I need to do the right thing with to make sure they are healthy. One thing this has taught us is that no matter if one of our daughters are not our biological child, we love them the same. When this happened to Sky we just rushed to ER, nothing else mattered at that stage. We left the doors of our house open as in all the chaos I could not find my keys. I did not care if they took everything we had, as long as my child was okay.

Sky is still struggling to deal with the new baby. She’s really moody and tantrums are plenty and not so far in between…The first time she saw Abby she told me to put her back in my tummy and her feelings seems to be the same 3 weeks later. She will come closer now when I feed Abby and she seems to be more at ease with her in the house, but she’s really acting out. We have had some epic fights the last week…. But we know this too shall pass…. And we know that we would not change anything, we are just so blessed to have to amazing daughters.


Breastfeeding dilemma

Being 8 months pregnant is causing a lot of decision to be made that I never thought I would need to make. Including if I’m going to breastfeed. My first and instant reaction is HELL NO! But the research is there – breastfeeding is best. And with both our medical histories I know the right thing to do is to breastfeed. But I’m totally freaked out by the idea. I’m going for a workshop next week and then I will have to make the final decision although I know what my decision should be….


The other part of this decision is – am I then going to bond differently with my two children? Will this affect Sky? How will she cope with this? She is all of a sudden VERY protective of me. She won’t allow anybody to touch me. It’s just ‘mommy mommy’ and she will even push the cats off me if they try to sit on my lap. We have some plans for when Abby comes, but the breastfeeding does bring in a whole new level of debate. Hubby is amazing and supports me in whatever I decide. Even when I decided to op for a c-section rather than normal birth he just went with my decision without asking why….


I am becoming more open to the idea of breastfeeding that what I used to be. I am so in ‘awe’ of women that find this natural. To me it’s such a foreign subject. I can’t even imagine doing it. The closer we do come to due date, the more open I am becoming to it, but still the idea gives me a sinking feeling in my stomach. What to do, what to do……….


Terrible Two??

Not only did we hit the terrible two’s early, but we are also going to have TWO of them soon. We are still not sure HOW it happen but we are going to have a baby. I’m just over the 8 weeks pregnant. And Sky picked up on it immediately. She’s sort of freaking me out. We never mentioned to her that I’m pregnant but as soon as I take a nap (I do a lot of those) she will lift up my top, but her ear against my tummy and says: babbie, babbie. She even tries to feed the babbie!


We are still in shock (well I am) and I’m taking it very slowly at the moment. The doctor is worried about my age (apparently I’m pass my sell by date) but everything seems to be okay. We have to do tests every 2 weeks at this stage but we know it’s for the best.

This is creating a whole new dimension in our lives. There is so much to think about – we are going to have two children – one white, one black. How do we make sure that neither of them ever feel they are not real siblings. How do we manage my family? Some still won’t accept Sky, but I’m sure they’ll want to be part of this grandchild’s world. (Well I’m being presumptuous here). BUT I won’t allow this, as we are a package deal. Here I am so thankful to my dad and stepmom. They have really been so supportive and are so proud to become a grandparents again.


So yes it’s exciting, but also I have so much on my mind. I keep telling myself – ONE DAY AT A TIME. It will all work out in the end, if it’s not right, it’s not the end…..


The day has finally arrive!

Sky is officially ours 🙂 Words can’t describe our joy. To know that she is by law now ours and nothing can take her away from us again.. Now the only thing we still need is her birth certificate but that will take months. As long as we know that legally she is ours, we are happy


We had a little bit of a laugh as we went into the court building. The Xhosa female security guard looks at Sky and asks if she is my baby. I say yes. The security looks at her again and says: But how is it possible that she has your face but black person hair…. I just laughed and explained that she is adopted. But yes, Sky does look like me. Mommy’s nose, Daddy’s toes 🙂

Everybody (including the judge) can’t get over how happy Sky is. She was on her best behaviour. We are proud parents 🙂

She obviously had to dress the part. Little crown and all